There's been over 3,832 days of Grief, Gratitude, Grit, Gumption, Grace & Growth between those two pictures - that's over 10 years for those that don't want to do the math. Every spinal cord injury has a story that needs to be respected how & when they are shared. For me March 12, 2012 was a day of loss, but as I look back each year I see so much MORE. More tears, more joy, more adventures, more love, more learning, more growth and more wheels - seriously, so many wheels! Over these past 10 years, around my anniversary of paralysis & being alive, I try to reflect on lessons learned that year. Somehow, each year I find myself learning and sharing something completely different. This year I hit my 10 year milestone back in March, but since it's September and Spinal Cord Injury Awareness month, I thought I'd share some of the things I wish I'd known initially after my accident. But first my only wish would be to require all drivers to watch a video or learn about how and who can use handicap parking stalls, but I’ll get on that soapbox later. Those first 365 days after my spinal cord injury felt overwhelming and changing constantly. Time seemed to speed up and slow down by the minute, hour, day & week. The conditions of my accident and injury were overwhelming to begin with, and then came all the information, healing, and advice – some solicited and LOTS of unsolicited;) Here is what I wish I’d known about spinal cord injuries 10 years ago. My hope is to educate and support individuals, family members and friends facing spinal cord injuries. 1. There is no cure for paralysis. There's no “beating” paralysis, but you will heal, adapt and change. It will take time + effort. Some of the efforts may be in the form of PT, OT, surgeries, botox injections etc. More effort won’t always result in more physical progress, but with time + effort will come healing and adapting. 2. There will be a before and after. As people may refer to life after graduation or life before kids etc. It’s just a fact, there is life before paralysis and there is life after. The most important thing to remember is that THERE IS LIFE AFTER! Life after paralysis or any diagnosis is hard. Honestly, there are parts that suck and get better and other parts that still suck. Change is hard, learning takes time, but you get to CHOOSE how to live after. 3. No two spinal cord injuries are the same! Between the actual physical experience of paralysis and the emotional process NOT ONE is the same. You may be the same SCI “level” – I’m a t12 incomplete paraplegic – but that’s it. One is not better than the other, for everyone involved there is loss – loss in movement and sensation. (And for those that understand the ASIA scale, it’s the opposite of grading scale. If you'd like to understand more see the resource page). There’s no set learning curve, progress or path. 4. There is no set timeline. And no two timelines are the same, not even the physical and emotional timelines. Often I’d get questions about when did you start feeling X or when did you start doing Y. Although it’s refreshing to hear and share experiences – comparing will not bring peace. Everything will take time and effort, but it will be worth it. Allow yourself the time and slow down if you need to - your body is doing amazing things. 5. Grief is NECESSARY. Most spinal cord injuries have a variety of loss in movement and sensation. The individual experiences of hot & cold, sharp & dull will also vary. No matter what you feel, you need to FEEL IT emotionally too. Loss is still loss and grief comes with loss. There is no getting around it and no exceptions. No matter the individual or loved one you must experience and allow yourself to feel so one day you can find peace and not just ACCEPT, but OWN it – both the good and the bad. Feel the loss and sorrow, rejoice in the small victories, cry out your disappointments and pain and keep moving forward. Grief and gratitude can coexist. This is where you will find healing, your own meaning and write your own ever after. It's not always a happily ever after, sometimes it really sucks, other times it's smooth sailing, but I'm getting better at riding the waves. This isn't the plot twist I imagined in my story, but it has changed me more on the inside than the out. These past 10 years have taught me more about my body and soul, as well as others - and for that I am grateful. With grit, gumption, gratitude, grace and growth, Brittany Anne .
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Brittany AnneJust a girl doing her best to EDUCATE, EMPOWER & EMBRACE, ArchivesCategories |